Sometimes, we might use the phrase “glass heart” to describe someone who is easily hurt or upset. This sensitivity can come from a variety of sources, like low self-esteem, an over-reliance on others’ opinions, or difficulty coping with life’s challenges.On the other hand, a “steel heart” is a symbol of resilience, the ability to withstand adversity.It’s about finding ways to move away from self-critical thoughts and ingrained patterns that hold us back. By recognizing these patterns, we can unlock our inner strength and build a more resilient sense of self.
Basic conditions for inner strength
Do you know the difference between people with a “glass heart” and a “steel heart”? Generally speaking, there is not much difference between the two on the surface, because people with fragile hearts tend not to let others notice it easily. The biggest difference between the two is that when faced with adversity, strong people are able to overcome difficulties and move forward, while fragile people will crumble into pieces like a cookie.
It’s interesting how often we find that people who seem to have a strong inner core, or what some people call a “heart of steel,” tend to have a strong sense of internal confidence. It’s almost as if they have an inner reserve of self-belief that supports them.
Have you ever thought of confidence like car insurance? It’s like having complete coverage for your car, you know? So, if you ever had a car accident, even if it’s with a fancy imported car, you can still get compensated. As long as you apologize to the other person calmly and take care of the insurance stuff, the whole situation can be taken care of really easily.But, if you’re someone who’s more fragile, it’s like having no car insurance or a smaller scope of compensation. If they accidentally hit an expensive imported car, they’ll be in a tight spot, having to handle everything themselves and coordinate with the victim, which can be really tough. So, having a heart of steel or a heart of glass can mean the difference between a smooth recovery and a more challenging one.
I think the “confidence backing” possessed by a strong person includes the following five items:
1. Economic strength
Financial security is so important to everyone.Take Eleanor, for example. She’s in her fifties, and she’s dealing with depression and a troubled marriage. Her husband’s self-centeredness and infidelity, along with some difficult family stuff, are really weighing her down. But, Eleanor’s financial dependence and lack of work history make her feel powerless, like she’s bound to her husband’s moods.The thought of divorce is scary, especially since she’s pretty young and her job options aren’t great.
It’s so important to remember that empty words can only provide temporary comfort to young people who are struggling to make ends meet. What they really need is practical support to help them build a strong foundation for their future. While it’s great to dream of financial stability, for now, if you’re struggling, the best thing you can do is to focus on earning and saving. Having a stable income and a safe place to live can give you the peace of mind and the strength to move forward.
2. Strength in professional fields
It’s truly inspiring to see how professional expertise can make a person feel more confident in their abilities. Take Kim Yuna, for example. Despite facing physical challenges during her training, her unwavering confidence came from her proven skills.In the corporate world, people with strong professional skills have a lot of influence. They understand their own value and the opportunities that come their way. They’re not afraid to speak up and make their mark. And the best part is, when they invest in their professional development, it’s not just about the company’s gain — it’s about theirs. Having financial stability is a huge source of confidence, and professional skill can really amplify that.
3. The meaning and purpose of life
People who have a strong sense of purpose are amazing! They can handle tough situations really well. Just look at Lee Guk-jong. He’s a really important doctor in South Korea who treats gunshot wounds. He faced some really hard medical problems, and the hospital wasn’t making much money, but he didn’t give up.He was totally committed to saving lives and making emergency medical systems better. He even pushed for the use of medical helicopters. And then there are people like Father Lee Tae-seok, who’s totally dedicated to volunteering in the medical field. They really get what life’s all about.When you’ve got a sense of purpose, it’s like a super strong ‘faith support.’ But when you don’t have that purpose, it can leave you feeling totally empty inside. And that can lead you to look for some quick fix, like going a little overboard with sex, video games, booze, or drugs. But these temporary fixes can’t fill the void, because they don’t address the deeper meaning of life.
4. Things you love
Yu Sheng is a 20-year-old who’s got his heart set on becoming an online cartoonist. He’s always been passionate about drawing, and he’s been doing cartoons competitions for a while now. He’s even been selected a few times, which is awesome! He’s always been pretty active on social media, sharing his work and getting it out there. He recently signed a contract with an online comics platform, so he’s gearing up to start his career as a cartoonist.
For Yu Sheng, his dream isn’t just about becoming a successful online cartoonist. He’s content with earning 2 million won (about $1,600) a month and saving some of it for himself. He’s loved reading comics and painting since he was a kid. He once dreamed of entering an art school, but his parents opposed it, which prevented him from realizing his dream for the time being.However, Yusheng is now working hard to realize his dream.Knowing what you love, discovering your talents, thinking carefully, exploring how to connect the things you love with the world, and realizing them in a concrete way, this process can also help us build a “confidence backing.”
5. Have "meaningful others"
When we talk about meaningful others, we’re referring to the people in our lives who truly understand and support us through life’s ups and downs. They’re the ones who cheer for us with genuine enthusiasm when we’re celebrating, and they’re always there for us, unconditionally.If we’re fortunate enough to have parents with positive personalities, we’re likely to have a built-in confidence from the very start. Those who have been nurtured with love by their parents since childhood tend to have a lot of confidence and resilience. When they face challenges, they can find comfort and strength in their parents’ love.The first relationships we form are usually with our parents, and the bond we share with them sets the foundation for our future relationships.
However, not all parents are “meaningful others”, and even if they are, we don’t need to be disappointed. In the first season of life, we usually meet our parents, but in the second and third seasons, we may still meet other meaningful people, such as friends, mentors, and partners. Take good care of your relationships with these people and embark on the journey of life with these precious people! They will become our solid and reliable “backbone of faith”.
As mentioned earlier, we can build our own five “confidence pillars” through concrete actions. Most books or YouTube videos, when talking about how to “overcome vulnerability”, often emphasize “don’t care about what others think.” However, this must be determined on a case-by-case basis.
If you are over 30 and still can’t find a job and have to rely on your parents for living expenses, then you will definitely have to look at your parents’ faces; or if your professional ability is insufficient and your position in the workplace is dispensable, then you probably won’t have a say. Therefore, it is very important to have both financial strength and professional ability.
Maybe you can’t find the reason to live now, but you just keep holding on because you have to. But I think that people who cannot find joy in life and are not interested in anything may not know how to actively seek happiness, so they live a boring life for the time being, but it does not mean that it will always be like this; if there are no “meaningful others” around us who can share joy and sadness, it is indeed difficult to feel happy. However, I want to tell you that even if you live such a busy life, you must never give up on building your own “confidence backing”.